Denial

WHO ME? I DID NOT EAT ANY CANDY...

"They have also healed the hurt of My people slightly, saying 'Peace, peace!' When there is no peace." Jer 6:14 (in other words...denial)





You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there. We have many wounds in this life, but I am going to go so far as to say that it is not just wounds we are in denial of. What about our sin tendencies, our duties, our responsibilities. This lesson applies to many areas. There is a great acrostic for the word DENIAL that shows what happens when we do not face our denial:



Denial...





Disables our feelings - feeling our feelings is freedom.


Energy lost - a side effect of denial is anxiety which causes us to waste precious energy, running from our past and worrying about our future.


Negates growth - we are as sick as our secrets, we cannot grow in recovery until we are ready to step into the truth.


Isolates us from God - God is light, denial keeps us in the dark.


Alienates us from our relationships - denial tells us we are getting away with it, no one knows, but they do.


Lengthens the pain - our false belief tells us that denial protects us from our pain. Denial allows our pain to fester and grow and turn into shame and guilt.





Our denial tendencies start from early childhood. We begin at an early age to protect ourself and get attention with certain coping skills. These coping skills set us up for adulthoold denial (unless our coping skill was leaning on Christ). There was always a "family secret" that everyone was trying to protect growing up. More than likely, we had a coping mechanism of denial to push us through. Sweeping something under the rug is a very damaging behavior that can lead us to pain and disappointment. Sometimes it is something as trivial as a load of laundry that we just cannot bring ourselves to look at. Sometimes it is a little more important like our duties as a mom (i.e. discipline or training issues we are too tired to deal with). Sometimes it is a wound inflicted on us by ourselves or others that we are unwilling to address. And sometimes it is a sin that we cherish and have made excuses for. Do you attempt to sweep these things under the rug? Or do you use one of my coping mechanisms...trying to micromanage my immediate surroundings so that I "feel" like I am in control without really addressing the main issue? Do you go off alone and try to push it away?





God gives us a way out of this denial.





First we have to identify the areas in our lives that are out of control, though. "I know nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." "For a man is a slave of ANYTHING that has conquered him." Take time to make a list of the areas where your life has become unmanageable (my list was a little lengthy...)





This is what God gives us... "He frees the prisoners...he lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads." "They cried out to the Lord, and he rescued them. He let them out of their darkness and shadow of death and snapped their chains." "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." We walk in the light by stepping out of denial...acknowleding our faults and then He purifies us.





Stop! "Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves." Stop lying to yourself most of all... Then find someone you can be accountable to, who knows your secrets so that you are not in hiding anymore. I have done this, and it is very freeing to know that my sins are out there! "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed." The Bible says that there will be healing if we are accountable to another individual...not just to God! He forgives us when we confess our sins to him, but there is another level of healing that can occur from going to another. That way you have a prayer partner too, lifting you up in the most intimate way.





Walk in the freedom of God's light!

Labor

How do you spend your time? Do you work feverishly all day long completing your long list of tasks like the ant in Proverbs. "Go to the ant you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise." Or maybe you are more like me and come to the end of your day wondering what work you actually got accomplished. There seems to be a fine line in the Bible of what our work should look like. Here are some references:

"Their boast is only labor and sorrow."

"The labor of the righteous leads to life."

"He who gathers by labor will increase."

"All things are full of labor; man cannot express it."

"For what has man for all his labor, and for the striving of his heart with which he has toiled under the sun."

"What profit has the worker from that in which he labors?"

"Why did I come forth from the womb to see labor and sorrow?"

"Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

"Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal on Him."

"Therefore my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord."

"For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward his Name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister."

"But I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might."

"If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies."

"For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, you are God's building."

"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ."

So we are to work, but it is not our identity. We are not to be lazy and be busybodies. We have to work in order to function. But...We are to work for the Lord and not for man. We are not to be brought down by our labor but to come to Him when we are weary from it. It says that the work of the Lord is easy...a light burden. Paul says he labored more abundantly than anyone but it was the grace of God that was in him doing it. We are to work with all our might for Him. God speaks about the labor of love - ministering to others, building his kingdom, working his field. We will earn physical bread from our work, but the spiritual bread is what endures. Our work is not in vain, he says. Yes, that means sweeping Cheerios, changing diapers, ministering to our sisters in Christ, teaching our children, cleaning the toilet (again), cooking a meal, doing your 18th load of laundry this week, etc are all things that are not done in vain...that is if we are doing them for the Lord by ministering to others. This devotion I am doing today is spoken mainly to myself as I am struggling to go through my day and complete what I have to. I am convicted by the Lord to work harder, not to earn myself anything, but to please Him. To organize my time better so that I am more effective and to use the grace and strength of Christ alone to complete this. I have been so lost, but I pray that Christ would give me new energy to complete what I have to through Him.

September recipes...

If you missed the September recipes, here are the links:


Amazing Italian Lemon Butter Chicken
Frogmore Stew
World's Best Lasagna
Three Cheese Pasta Bake

Getting off the merry-go-round...

So here is my child, panicked, spinning, surrounded by noise, off level ground on the merry-go-round at the Gwinnett County Fair. So, although this is cute and her first ride of this sort since being fully conscious, I cannot help but relate this to life. Life with kids (and sometimes without) can be very much likened to a merry-go-round. We are not meant to spin, panic, or be off level ground. We are meant to be still, calm, and with a right mind. That is where we find peace. (we are to fight and do warfare sometimes as well, but that is for another day). We, however, choose to enter this ride of life for many reasons. We feel pressured to be busy by society, we aren't satisfied with the hand we are dealt so we try to fill the void with all our activities. Sometimes we don't like what our mind is telling us when we are still. Sometimes we don't like what God is telling us when we are still. Most of all, we don't want to give up control because we don't know what life will be like if we actually step out of the routine. We want our plans, our busyness, our "noise." Aren't you tired, though? I know I am. Plus, I am getting a little bored with the round and round routine. Here are some verses to motivate you to NOT MOVE!

"Meditate within your heart and on your bed, and be still."

"He calms the storm, so that its waves are still. Then they are glad because they are quiet; so He guides them to their desired haven."

"When I awake I am still with you."

"Be still and know that I am God."

There is actually a lot of freedom in knowing that God is directing our steps. It takes the pressure off us. How in the world are you supposed to hear God's voice and know what direction to take when you are on that noisy ride? How can you focus when you are spinning out of control? You might spend a lot of time talking to God, but how much time do you spend listening? These are the things I have to ask myself intermittently throughout my week to hone myself back in on the real point. Giving Him my life means stepping off my routine and planning to go in his direction. There are still some things we have to do day after day after day as women, but there are a lot of things that are not necessary that we cram in there too. So take some time to get your "land legs" back and spend some time in His Word and listening to his still calm voice.